valentine

Dear Valentine,

This letter is for you. As a girl turns sixteen, she has a lot of plans. She will be busy with college life, bunking classes, attending parties, going on a trip and the list goes on. But mine was a simple one — ‘fall in love’. 

I still remember the day when your message popped up on my phone. I usually don’t talk to strangers on Facebook but I don’t know what happened. The next thing I remember is I replied. I must say you have amazing flirting skills. I mean you were so sweet and were flirting with me at the same time. You were able to make me laugh in our very first conversation. That’s a big achievement.

After a couple of days, I kind of felt secure. I already had shared a few secrets of mine and also you had shared your ‘break up stories’. This wasn’t the first time I was flirting. I’ve had a few flings with other guys. But you were different. I could share my feelings and thoughts without any hesitation.

Since there was no shyness or hesitation between the two of us, we took our friendship to a new level. We were no longer ‘friends’. You were mine and I was yours. We rushed. We acted like we didn’t have much time. It was surprising that we were in a relationship within a week. We both were happy but I guess I was the happier one. 

I got excited. After all, I was in love. I couldn’t resist but tell my friends about you. They were happy for me but at the same time, they were unsure of you. So the thing is, girls have this code–they have to approve their girl’s boyfriend. 

What another day could be perfect than Saraswati puja’? So I called you at sharp nine. I already reached there with my girlfriends and I called you three times but you didn’t pick up. You had already ruined the first impression by not picking up the call and not being punctual. They returned to a nearby park. I waited for you and then you and I went to the park.

You must’ve thought at that time that it is an informal meeting with my friends. It was the approval phase. They approved your looks, of course, you have a very good-looking face. And when you started talking, they liked your sense of humor. Congratulations, you had passed the approval.

I was on cloud nine. If my friends like you then you’re the perfect one for me. We went out on dates. We made the perfect memories that I will cherish throughout my life. You even introduced me to your mother as your girlfriend. By doing this, you took our relationship to a whole another level. It was now also approved by your mother. Our bond; our relationship became official.

But see, every relationship has those ups and downs. Unfortunately, my dad came to know about you. He came to know I used to sneak out of the house to meet you. I didn’t lie about our relationship. I went against my dad for you.

Love made me do such a dumb thing.

I fought with my parents for you. I did everything I could do to save our relationship.

But you were busy ignoring me. If you had to ignore me later why did you choose to share your stories with me? Why did you say I was beautiful when I looked trash?  

Then I came across this girl’s account on Facebook. I saw your comments on her post. You were busy ignoring me and complementing the other girl. She is pretty, no doubt, and what about me? Why were you calling her ‘baby’ when I was your girl? I couldn’t control myself. All I could do was cry. For the first time, I felt jealous. I hated her. I talked to my friend about the girl and your comments. She consoled me. 

You know there is always a limit to everything. There is always a boundary. But you made me impatient. I told you how I felt. You smiled, laughed when I was crying and letting my heart out. You promised me not to repeat such actions that would hurt me.

We crossed this hurdle; our first ever fight, if that’s the word.

Everything was normal. You and I were again on the same page. Valentine’s Day was nearing; to be honest, I was super excited. First was the rose day. You brought me the red rose, the symbol of eternal love and romance. You were the first person ever to give me a rose.

I wished that our love would blossom as that perfect rose. Then on propose day, you proposed me in a very romantic way. I had no other option than to fall in love with you more and more each day.

It was all going well until that day when we said how much we love each other. But the very next day, you, my love, acted like a different person. I don’t know where I went wrong. I don’t even know if it was my fault. You messaged me saying that you will not be able to make time for me.

But I was willing to be with you. I even said it is okay if you cannot give me all your time. You changed just like the unexpected weather. How could you even say that I can get a better guy? If I had to get a better guy, I would have never been in a relationship with you.  

You know love comes with sacrifices. I never even thought that I would give up on something for the person I love.

I gave up smoking for you.

Because you never liked a person who smokes. I even stopped talking to my guy friends because I didn’t want to take the risk of ruining my relationship with you. But you were carefree.

You never even loved me. All you did was an act. Must say, you are a great actor. How could I not see the lies behind those sweet words? Your love was fake. Why didn’t I realize that you were not for me?

You don’t even know that you broke my heart. I have to live with those memories that will haunt me every night. But I hope that you are happy. I wish all the best for your upcoming days. And yes, Happy Valentine’s day, my love.

Not yours anymore,

A Brokenhearted Girl.