By Kate Schecter
I recently returned from a trip to Southeast Asia. I had the privilege of visiting and meeting with the farmers and others who participate in our economic and social development projects. Most of these participants are women. One woman, in particular, Binu Subedi, told me a story that brought home both the challenges women face and the gains we can make, even when facing resistance.
I couldn’t help but think about Binu’s story in the context of the “#MeToo” movement. In the US, we are also coming to grips with the fact that while much has changed, much has stayed the same. While women in America and other developed countries have achieved a level of opportunity and equality unknown in recorded history, female lives are still stunted and distorted by misogyny and sexism. The inequality and even cruelty can be even more glaring in developing countries. Whether it is the urban, educated world of “#MeToo” women or the poor, often illiterate, rural life of a Nepali farmer, we have a common bond and strangely common experiences.
Binu was married off at sixteen and had her first baby alone in a hut after four days of labor. Her husband drank too much, they argued all the time and he did little to assist either around the house or on their small plot of land.
After her two children were born, Binu suffered from severe uterine prolapse, a weakening of the muscles and ligaments in the pelvic floor. At least 10% of Nepali women suffer from this condition, although the true number is not known. Prolapse often results in painful sexual intercourse. Binu’s husband, who was largely interested in her at night, did not care. In the US, we would call this abuse.
One day Binu was invited to a course about reproductive health and started to learn about personal hygiene and what had happened to her body when she was pregnant. She decided something had to change. As Binu told me, “I learned my body is my own. I could stop suffering from the pain of my husband coming to me at night”.
By taking control of her sexuality and, with it, her health, Binu recovered. Free of prolapse symptoms, including frequent pain, she was in a condition to finish her schooling and sit for the high-school exams with her son when he took them.
Binu then joined a savings and credit group, where she learned new techniques to grow crops in the forest and on steep hillsides where she lived. She borrowed capital to build some small greenhouses to grow surplus vegetables to sell in a local market. She asked her husband to help her build the greenhouses. Her initiative and drive to improve their lives made an impression on him. He gradually cut back on his drinking and became more of a partner in her agricultural business.
Binu’s school achievement, along with her success as a farmer and leadership abilities, caught the attention of a progressive mayor in a nearby town. Together they have obtained resources from the municipality to help Binu’s village and other isolated villages with education, health, and other initiatives.
Binu is now a leading social mobilizer in her village, organizing projects for other women, sharing her skills and encouraging their efforts. Women look up to her and follow her lead because she is one of them.
Binu’s story is not unique. Women’s’ actions, combined with spreading education and economic development, are changing social mores in rural Nepal. Women are starting to realize they don’t have to be forced into marriage or stay in abusive arranged marriages. If they do choose to remain in arranged marriages, they can earn money and leverage that to bring about more equal and satisfying relationships.
Binu and the other brave and resourceful women I recently met in Nepal, Indonesia, and Timor-Leste give me hope that the spirit afoot in the US is happening with women all over the world. In Nepal as in the US, the ultimate goal is not protection from abuse. It’s equal treatment and opportunity that makes abuse, a form of control, far less likely to occur at work, at home and in every other part of life.
Kate Schecter is president and CEO of World Neighbors, an international development organization founded and based in Oklahoma City.
